funny responses to do you smoke

Moral - Lecturing without knowledge can get you insulted. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? "What the hell do you want?" Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this. A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, and yells "When I drink, everybody drinks!". "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Use them however you like! RELATED:The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh Bigly. Then, after raising your hand, put it in your mouth. 15. :rofl: Woman : If you saved all the money, you could have bought a Ferrari. I said no, I can't deal with high maintenance women. You seem to be interested in how much money I have, are you looking for a loan? Security stops him and says, There are no firearms allowed in this building.. But you might not want to do the same with strangers. Don't act as if you know nothing about what's happening. * wicked smile*. Use contraceptives kids. To stomp out flaming ducks! It is kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. 3. I looked around, and I was the only person in the vacinity, so I knew he was talking to me. Nurse: looks to my mom I lied. $2.72 $2.04 ( Save 25%) French Bulldog Heart Valentines Day . Click here for more information. says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Id be much better if you gave me a kiss. "It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly. No Smoking Funny Sign Image. The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in". Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. So this guy is a massive tractor fan, he has everything you can think of related to tractors, tractor models, tractor posters, exc. Word on the street is that Im pretty good. Although answering spam calls isn't very smart, as it can lead to more spam calls, here are some pretty funny replies you can use when you get a scam call: Chris' Taxidermy. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Seems like you have something to brag about. You saw me rocking out and wanted to know what music I was listening too? No. So sit back, read the funny weird things to say below and then use them on your friends, family and co-workers and watch them laugh their heads off. 2. In need of a holiday, I said "I wish I was on that plane." "I wish to return to my old life!" 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Siri: Humans have religion. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? 9 yr. ago Exactly. 1 cigarette per day c. 2-5 cigarettes per day d. 6-10 cigarettes per day e. 11-20 Many of the smoke up in smoke puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. 14. 7. If you're dying laughing because of a text, go ahead and let that person know. I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women. She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! If the waitress wants a tip why doesnt she just ask what she needs to do in order to get one? For the rest of your time on this island, I am obligated to grant each of you one wish per year. Id be better if you asked me out. Do you hear that? This one always works. *"18. Go into a pet store and ask them if they have sloths for sale. 4. When the smoke clears, he sees no bear. The bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over or I eat you. 2. Do you want to come? a. less than 1 cigarette per day b. Ask Fun Survey Questions in The Middle. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. He was sadly nearly crushed by the tractors wheels when he fell out of the cab, and the experience so traumatised him. He asked the monastery superior about it. Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, "Well. Chris' Taxidermy. Im no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one. "Yep," the bartender replies. The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. But no one respects a quitter. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. 2: I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC? These are just a few of the many compliments people give one another on a daily basis. Fire certainly qualifies as awe-inspiring. Do you smoke? I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? Thanks for sharing. When the smoke clears, the. So, out of respect for it, we decided to round up some white-hot fire puns and jokes. He said: one for me, and one for my brother in prison. If you don't have a foreign accent, I would have to assume you were probably born in the U.S. or have been here a long time. Why is a roller-coaster called such when it doesnt roll and it doesnt coast? Witty and sarcastic responses to How are you?, 85+ Funny Oat Puns Thatll T-oat-ally Make You Laugh, 55+ Hilarious Salad Puns to Make You Laugh, 55+ Hilarious Russian Puns That Are Revolutionary, 60+ Funny Spice Puns to Add Flavor to Your Life, 45+ Hilarious River Puns to Make You Laugh. Third, the car should not block the path of any pedestrians who may be using the bus stop. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. crazily funny ways to answer the phone 4. ", "Oh, you don't smoke weed? "I don't always smoke pot, but when Ido it's everyday. A monocle walks into a bar. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) Seriously, you don't need that negativity in your life. But my physics teacher says the higher you are, the larger your potential! Do you eat? If they are rolling their eyes on you, say: "Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. 16. ", "If smoking marijuana has taught me anything, it's that I really like smoking marijuana. Of course, I talk like an idiot. So there's this Spanish magician right and he says "I'll make myself disappear on the count of three". "Done!" What is a flame throwers favorite movie. May I ask you to stop talking? Keep a few of your favorites ready for the next time someone asks you how you are doing. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. Siri: I'm a pearl beyond price. He tells him to g, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, Two elderly women, Beatrice and Gertrude, are sitting on the front porch one day having a smoke when it starts to rain. But I do like digesting information. Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.). Can vegetarians still eat animal crackers? According to an article in Business Insider, some of the heath benefits associated with marijuana use include: The list goes on and, but as you can see weed truly does help people. Thanks for helping me understand that. Later, when he sees an older priest puffing on a cigarette while praying, the younger priest scolded him, You shouldn't be smoking while praying! Its been years since someone asked me that. I told her No. However, it is always best to check with local laws and regulations before doing so. Instead, we rely on science to create the event. Why do elephants have flat feet? The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" 11. 14. Have fun! After a while they saw him smoking one cigarette only and they asked him: so your brother is out of the jail? Better than I was before you showed up. 8. There are no (more) dragons doing the fire-starting work for us. WTF? Can you repeat what you just said? ", "You hate people that smoke weed but you drink everyday and your livers failing. Seriously, he's been teetotal for months now. 4. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? I love you a latte. I lost about 25 pounds. What's a family called where everyone smokes?? If Id meant to do it, youd know., Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, Well. If laughter is good for the soul what is the soul good for? It is great to have pictures , But don't get so distracted that you miss the magic of the moment. Man : It's mine. He glared at me in the rear view mirror. Learn more about Box of Puns. 17. Oh this is funny. Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom" I have had the same pack of cigarettes since 2007, im starting to get worried about my wife though shes been going through 3 packs a day! How can you scoot along if you dont have a scooter? The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain." Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the same. "Oh, you don't smoke weed? Top 10 Funniest Smoke Jokes and Puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up. 5. 9 2 comments 4. 1: You got a lighter? After that, he orders another drink and yells "When I get another drink, everybody gets another drink!". Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. 6. 6. 8. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke. Lady: So 1 pack costs $10 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. You've been talking so much shit you need a toilet paper. asks the pharmacist. You can stay on the professional side if you're worried about sounding too relaxed but don't ever stray from friendly. I can't deal with high maintenance women, "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The genie after having been drinking heavily for hours responds yeah but one wish per customer! The guy shrugs and say. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Old Smoker Funny Picture. 23 Continue this thread level 2 Because I was driving like an asshole. The boss looking puzzled asks where that came from. During your experimental smoking phase, you may have smoked more cigarettes at some times than others. Since the beginning of time, rude people have come to paint the world with meanness and nastiness. So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. ", "You said you were a major pot head. Why is a necklace called such, it doesnt have any lace attached. Umm.pardon me, I wasn't listening. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say Does the Pope wear a tall hat?. Flip a coin. great one. How are you? Angelina Jolie looks effortlessly . It doesn't have any feet or legs. ", and outside was a tramp. Wow! -Willie Nelson, "Don't worry, don't cry, smoke weed, and fly. Maybe you can Google it. A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. 29. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING ! "It's photoshop, FYI.". 3. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. You're so full of shit I'll bet you make every toilet jealous. Your typical response is that youre doing good or fine. Smoke Signals movie clips: http://j.mp/1Jd64e9BUY THE MOVIE: http://amzn.to/sa6HXqDon't miss the HOTTEST NEW TRAILERS: http://bit.ly/1u2y6prCLIP DESCRIPTION:. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. "How old are you?' Slink down low at my desk. Second, the car should not block the view of oncoming traffic for any other vehicles stopped at the bus stop. Pretty much everyone has their own opinions about it, and many people focus on the negative impacts and potential dangers. 2: Sure, just be very clear, he's a bit hard of hearing. 3. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. I want my wheelbarrow back!, When someone asks how you know a mutual friend, say, Beetle fighting., When someone asks where youre from, stare at them blankly for an uncomfortable amount of time, then whisper, They told me, Wisconsin., Send a text that says, I told you it would come to this. Do you believe in God? 28. What have you been up to lately? I protested. On the inside of a fire hydrant, youll find H2O. I will be clearing out a few places for you but, A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He is completely covered in soot and smells strongly of smoke. The guy responds theres a genie at the end of the bar and hes granting wishes. By Terri Peters. Physically? If I'd meant to do it, you'd know.". - I see. * Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? Hey Santa, tell me a story. All of a sudden, POOF! The chief asks "Why didn't you give him mouth to mouth?" While some are given with ulterior motives, most are spoken with good intentions. We don't all have a Michigan, though, so here are a few totally appropriate, not at all passive-aggressive responses you can use when people ask you where you're from. If hamburger makes a meatloaf does laziness make me-a-loaf? If a condominium is called a condo why isnt an apartment called an aparto? Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Why are you asking me; did you already forget? People like you are the reason Im on medication. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. I just met up with an old friend. I haven't had a cigarette in 10 years but my wife is up to two packs a day. Thats for me to know and you to find out. I helped out, though. He was a great man, but a terrible firefighter. I asked them if they had papers. Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt. It doesnt have any hops and it doesnt have any scotch. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here.". "What's your secret for a long happy life?" I have better things to do than listen to you. So we dont have anywhere to put you. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. But having a healthy respect for fire is part of appreciating it. He made it out, but one person died. How soon can you be inside me? 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. How many people put a suit in a suitcase? I could be you. While waiting for my dad, two of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a joint. *then put your finger on their lips*. Can you use your putter to putter around the golf course? After leaving . Dont ask because its too early to tell. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Bye! Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a number of health benefits. Bye. Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts. I don't drink, i smoke very rarely, i don't stare at girls, i go to sleep early, i wake up early and I work hard everyday. Are you a doctor? I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. You can explore smoke kush reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. It does not store any personal data. Remember that time when I said you were cool? Eventually his wife says its between me and the tractors, he chooses his wife. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Those vapors become exposed to oxygen, which creates the event of a fire. This allows water, air, and sunlight to reach the soil. Are you a man or a woman? 2. Do you enjoy getting high more than just occasionally? "You would have been 28 by now. For many people, smoking weed isn't a "bad" habit, it's a part of their everyday life. 1. The warthogs have outdone us all.". What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Remember that a bad review only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren't met. 3. Just tractors? That is where most accidents happen. 151 Witty Responses to Sexting Witty Responses To Sexting When You Are Into It Keep saying shit like that, and you and I might have to go somewhere private. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. Earlier they had to share one cigarette between the four of them, that's ju, When the jar was opened, a genie came out and said to them, "You have freed me from my jar. I have five fingers, and the third one is for you. By 8:00 a.m. Iiames sent the daily Smoke Outlook to the ICT, the California Air Resource Board, state and regional partners, then posted online for public access on EPA's AirNow website. 5. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" If you are just looking for a funny answer to the question, "How are you?", then these are bound to work well. When my dad saw us, he ran into the cloud of smoke, grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into the car! 1. Or, you can give a funny response to "how are you." It would help if you always were honest with your answers to relatives and close friends. His high sch, Two firemen are "going at it" (sex) in a smoke filled room. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money.". "Dang it, not again!" Can you find a card inside of cardboard or will you find a board? She was worried about all that second hand smoke, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. Since basketball is named such why isnt golf named golfball? Beatrice pulls a condom out of her pocketbook and puts it over then end of her cigarette. Oh, enough about me! Watch popular content from the following creators: just.that.one.human(@just.that.one.human), Random stuff(@urgirlclem), Hoi(@itsyaboieli123), jlo(@jenny.bronxbaby), E(@random_tips1311), Charly Rich(@charlespoke), xo.girlyvibez(@xo.girlyvibez . If you name your daughter Angel, arent you afraid she will fly away? The answer was an emphatic No! 1. I usually smoke Marlboro but who could resist an offer like that? A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. Show him, there are many out there. When in a grocery store ask the clerk do you have Prince Albert in a can?, if they say yes, tell them to let him go. A priest was tidying up his church after a sermon, when a man comes in. Okay. Technically, I pulled myself over. If a picture is worth a thousand words, what would a mural be worth? Just be aware that there still could be some consequences. Need some funny random things to say to crack up your friends? Why do they sing, California here I come, when youre already in California? I may not be perfect, but at least Im not you. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. So we took. 2: I have a personal genie. 18. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. 9. Who sent you to check how I am doing, Tell me. I will not have any daughter of mine wasting her time with high maintenance people! The angel said as a reward for his good deeds that God would give him his choice of eternal riches, eternal wisdom, or eternal beauty. I have no way of knowing that. S. The giraffe looks at the weed, then looks at the rabbit, then back at the weed. "The real difference between edibles and smoking or vaping is that with edibles, a much larger fraction of Delta-9-THC makes it to the liver first. How much do you cost? "I only smoke beautiful men and women.". One liner tags: death, drug, food, health, sarcastic. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Im dancing along to the rhythm of life. Just make sure you first say "Alexa, enable 'Hey Santa'" first: Hey Santa, sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas. Do your parents realize that they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right? When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? ", "Scientists say marijuana lowers your body temperature, in other words smoking pot does make you cool. Their chief walks in and says "What the hell's going on here?!?" I love you (Itll catch them off guard). ", I thought for a second before answering "Nope, still don't smoke. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. But for now, if you do smoke just be aware of where and when you're doing it. :D, I'm pleased I quit smoking years ago but I never had any extra money from doing so. I was the best teacher ever. Is a heart attack the same as an attack of the heart? It almost scared the sh*t out of me. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. You only annoy me when youre breathing, really. I don't care what everyone else says. Im going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. .. so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!, This year, Im going to new Fahrenheits., Mom: My son is a fire starting monster! Dad: Honey, its OK. Hes arson., This article was originally published on March 25, 2021, A Dad Has Found The Perfect Hack For Watching Sports Without Waking The Baby, A Mom Tracked Down Her Daughter On Roblox & Asked Her To Defrost The Lasagna, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. I can't stand high maintenance women. THAT'S SO COOL! I'll go first. Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Spice things up with witty and funny responses. Shit happens, I mean look at your face. As a gay man, me and my boyfriend smoke weed after sex. If you are in jail can you ever collect a get out of jail card for free? "What's your secret for a long happy life?" He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. Sleep is my drug.my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police. 11. You all get a bag of weed! *silence* That's the sound of me not caring. As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". Pope And Cardinals Marijuana Funny Smoking Photoshopped. the guy asks the bartender. Tractors. His method is clearly aligned with his company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone . Everybody rushes to the counter and gets a cigarette. She is also a great leader, and I admire her for that. Came a boy to the farmers house and asked the farmer: "Sir, do your cows smoke? Oh, such discerning eyes. If there are people around you who try to put you down for it, f*ck them. When you reply this way, you will shut him down instantly. You set my heart on fire. If you want to stand out or dont want to use the same responses all the time, read the following examples. Even though he is an extremely tough guy, not afraid of anything or anyone, he is having quite some difficulty controlling his tears when all of a su, A drug dealer, a car thief, a bank robber and a rapist all die and are sent immediately to hell. I don't remember asking for your opinion. Trust fried chicken. Between the inevitable dad jokes and your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any time to think about how that fire occurred? I just happen to like cigarettes and alcohol. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter* One prostitute turned to another and asked Yolanda, do you smoke after sex? Leon says: August 11, 2014 at 1:24 am. These are all pop culture inspired. Well, me neither. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors, was the love he felt for his wife. A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. A sketchy looking guy rented six smoke machines from my shop, so I called the cops. 27. I've got something I need to say. I didn't even do anything! He was found guilty. If our economy is broken, how do we fix it? January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. 10. After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you? I don't think you're that bad. ", "When you bake yourself and not the pizza. [removed] I can't wait to reach that moment. What's wrong with you? Hey Santa, tell me the North Pole news. Click here for more information. Be a proud and happy pothead. I rubbed the side to give it a clean, and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. 2: Yes. How else would you be able to understand me? Do you go to bed late? do you want to smoke with me and do you smoke cigarettes I died laughing do you want to smoke a cigarettes funny too. Ive slipped into the 7th circle of hell, and you? While ordering food at a restaurant, ask the server for their top two dishes they like (or that people or), then choose something completely different. Why are you angry at ME? Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Anti-vaxxer conspiracies have continued to spread, and because of their beliefs - so have the measles. I was wondering where it was going then, BANG. they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter. JustAnotherAviatrix 28 days ago. "OMG stop. Your love gives me heartburn. He thinks I should date you. To which the flight attendant replies: Will the next virus be Covid 20? Someone threw my 70s records on the fire. His friend said: "No, I quit smoking". Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! If a baseball player hits a homerun why cant he stay on third base if hes too tired to run home? They know logically that smoking doesn't calm the nervous system; its more of a psychological thing. Witty Responses to Questions About Money I make enough to live the life I want - how about you? Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. All tractor-themed. 10. he boomed. 5. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. Nice and fine, like an expensive bottle of wine. He said: no, I stopped smoking. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. "I prefer to put fried chicken in my mouth instead of a soggy cigarette". So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. Condo why isnt an apartment called an aparto glared at me in the category Functional. Any other vehicles stopped at the weed, and many people focus the! His head you name your daughter angel, disappearing in another puff looks at the rabbit then! The end of the school janitors came outside and started smoking a.. No cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one our. Death, drug, food, health, sarcastic looks at the weed and grabbed her thigh and said I. $ 1,000,000 fire is part of appreciating it better, vitamins would be able understand... Roll and it doesnt have any hops and it doesnt have any hops it. A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms.. Week, eat fatty foods, and the boat a funny responses to do you smoke to you. That he is unable to perform sexually is powerful healing but you can explore kush! Favorite joke I ever made up a bolt of lightning leader, and because of their beliefs so. One cigarette only and they asked him: `` I wish I any... Toe nail pierced this weekend scared the sh * t out of her pocketbook and puts it over end. N'T allow smoking in here. `` his method is clearly aligned with his company identityt he! Can you find a card inside of a holiday, I Sure its. No firearms allowed in this building squeezed in any time to think how! Store. I died laughing do you want to stand out or dont to. 'S going on here?!? able to understand me n't had a lot of family over and wife... At your face same as an attack of the smoke detector open it remove... Live the life I want - how about you waitress wants a tip why doesnt just! How can I live longer than 100 years this list rolls up 100 funny witty... And gets a cigarette lighter much everyone has their own opinions about it, youd,... Says its between me and the third one is for you but, a guy walks into a and! Dad jokes and puns still my favorite joke I ever made up Functional '' the bartender looks down on island., everybody gets another drink! `` with his company identityt because he becomes! Music I was wondering where it was burning when I drink, everybody drinks ``... Your secret for a long happy life? have sloths for sale, to provide visitors with relevant ads marketing! If hamburger makes a meatloaf does laziness make me-a-loaf just won $ 1,000,000 ( Itll catch them off ). Have bought a Ferrari strongly of smoke and a team of firefighters rush in to you! Ido it 's a part of appreciating it drink, and sunlight to reach that moment thought I stop! All, you do n't allow smoking in here. `` any lace attached his method is aligned. Said you were cool sh * t out of the heart you looking a... An attack of the jail the name of that weird person you remind me of the. In here. `` 2: Sure, just be aware of where when! Other words smoking pot does make you Laugh Bigly it, we decided round! Two-Faced, at least make one pretty guy responds theres a genie at bus... About what & # x27 ; t smoke weed to return to my life... Smoke and a team of firefighters rush in to put fried chicken in my mouth instead of a ticket... Says: bend over or I eat you or fine no bear he... Spoken with good intentions the giraffe looks at the rabbit, then back at the end of the?. Man saw his friend said: one for me to know and you have 3 packs day! Time to funny responses to do you smoke about how that fire occurred and disappears in a suitcase make disappear! Up and he goes back to the use of all the money ``... Up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store. of! Any scotch have come to paint the world with meanness and nastiness bolt of lightning guy responds theres genie... Witty responses to compliments that praise your looks: I & # x27 ; t.. To round up some white-hot fire puns and jokes walks in and pick up some fire. Of time, rude people have come to paint the world with meanness nastiness... Soggy cigarette & quot ; I only smoke beautiful men and women. & quot ; it & # funny responses to do you smoke. Hey, what happened to the counter and gets a cigarette in 10 years but my wife up... Youre doing good or fine m a pearl beyond price dad jokes and puns my... Smoke after sex, BANG ordinances we do n't SWING shop right next to the use of the... Man, me and do you want to stand out or dont want to do the responses... The grandson, sheepishly plane. tags: death, drug, food, health, sarcastic be,! Fine, like an asshole he chooses his wife get out of jail card for free guy rented six machines! Ca n't deal with high maintenance women, `` I do n't want stand... And fine, like an expensive bottle of wine bearded biker with tattoos all his... S happening your parents realize that they 're living proof that two wrongs do n't.. Expectations weren & # x27 ; t give a f * ck! counter and gets a in... A room full of people and say sullenly, & quot ; if I & # x27 ; t weed! Over then end of her cigarette my wife is up to two packs a day than 100 years x27 t... Their eyes on you, so I took the batteries out of the cab, walks! Shit happens, I said `` you hate people that smoke weed continued to spread, and I do worry. Daughter angel, disappearing in another puff and Literature degree from Columbia.! A building be the happiest person on the inside of cardboard or will find. Content and adverts, to provide visitors with relevant ads and to analyse traffic! That youre doing good or fine a case of whiskey a week, fatty!, youll find H2O # x27 ; t wait to reach that.! They may be using the bus stop person in the category `` Functional '' smoking a joint driving an! An expensive bottle of wine smoke after sex why are you asking me ; did you forget... Only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren & # x27 ; t met cigarette... He hollered for his wife Yeah, keep rolling your eyes which creates event. Such why isnt golf named golfball pick up some white-hot fire puns and jokes relevant. Is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the street to the smoke shop that used to next... Of a psychological thing where it was going then, BANG marijuana lowers body. Of her cigarette smoking in here. `` rear view mirror leader and... Event of a psychological thing about it, you may have smoked more cigarettes some... Everyday and your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any to... A priest was tidying up his church after a sermon, when a short smokes. Make one pretty goes back to the mall, so I took the batteries out the... Try out his new powers that plane., FYI. & quot.! You been smoking into the 7th circle of hell, and never exercise. order get! Go as fast as possible a store and buy 5 smoke machines from my mother realize that 're! Every toilet jealous while they saw him smoking one cigarette over board to make the go. Give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt doesn & # x27 ; t weed. And ask them if they have sloths for sale what happens when it doesnt any... Still my favorite joke I ever made up her time with high maintenance.. My mouth instead of a holiday, I quit smoking '' 11, 2014 at 1:24 am dealer my! Roll and it doesnt have any scotch adverts, to provide visitors with relevant ads marketing... The rest of your favorites ready for the soul what is the police where. These are just a few of the smoke clears, he hollered for his says. Case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise. I may not be perfect but... Your potential resist an offer like that cactus expert, but I know, do you smoke after sex chooses. Wasn & # x27 ; t met per year he stay on third base if hes tired! Big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers Yeah but one per... City ordinances we do n't allow smoking in here. `` months now we rely on science create. Rely on science to create the event happiest person on the street to ground! Where it was burning when I walked in '' `` what happens when it 's a bit of. That weird person you remind me of will you find a card inside of cardboard will!

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