my boyfriend's ex is still close with his familywhy was matt houston cancelled

If family cant support you through such an emotional time, I could never see them as good people. However I like your point of moving past victimhood and playing them at their own game. If you want to stay awaythats fine too. You need to voice your feelings and they should not come second where your ex is concerned. Along with my moms confession she said that I need to get professional help for my anger issues towards my ex (dont have any whatsoever, at peace actually). Im in a new relationship, which I want to cultivate, and I cant bring her anywhere as I feel as though my family just supports my ex. The reality is many times we are still aunt or uncle to the children of siblings, independent of the divorce. I feel my family is sending the message that I was wrong in wanting to start a new life, and that pity must come to that person, now over 30. My ex and I divorced after 28 years of marriage. He visits my mom and takes her backyard and calls her if he has a crisis. I know it may be hard but your children will appreciate it later in life. Oh thats nothing compared to what my husbands mom did. I cut ties with her family. With or without my family, life moves on, I cannot spend the rest of my life crying to belong, I am divorced from my family and my then husband, I am happy. I live near my ex in-laws and remain close to my mother-in-law, and the exs nieces and nephews, and one of his cousins. I know its difficult but you are the much better person. That is seriously sad. What is wrong with people? I was invited to this small wedding but my ex was asked to walk my mother down the isle. I dont trust him and worry that if I were to let my guard down he would find a way to manipulate the situation. You, as a sister, should not make your family cut ties with your ex. Im not saying to play along with being a happy family with him because from the sound of your post, you dont sound like youre up for it. 6. I fell betrayed because most of them knew ,to a point, what I had to go through. My family stuck by me, all ties cut! Even post-divorce for so many years, my husbands brother continues to choose his ex-wife over a relationship with his brother. If you didnt know we dated in the past, you would never guess by our text message content or pattern. How cruel and heartless. Start having parties, barbecues and holidays at your house. What I cant understand is how they dont understand they were played. My suggestion is to start being extremely proactive. You're in a tough spot. In this case, you should be happy that hes being a good father. Hi there iam going through the exact situation and I dont know what to do my ex has my daughter and she has also contacted my whole family on our current situation and now none of my family which were my form of support has all turned there backs on me they wont even let me explain my side of the situation and what took place on have a couple of siblings that have contacted me about what she want them to say to me that she had talk with c.a.s and I have not once contacted her family what so ever. If your boyfriend isn't very close to his family, he may not think a proper introduction is truly necessary. Ive been with my boyfriend little over a year and a half. My parents say Im holding grudges and i forgiveness but its far beyond that! Thats a worse gift than a chia pet or a crochet toilet paper cover. If you adopted, would you think the family not seeing them as family is fair because blood is thicker than water? It is something that I can very much relate with! I began trying to save my marriage (in retrospect I had been trying for 4 years already) but my husband admitted he didnt want to make any changes to do the same which is when I realised I couldnt stay with someone who didnt care. More and more I was out and he was in. Its a very hard situation. Their loss. But you do know that unless there was some extraordinary circumstance that forged the alliance between the ex and the mom, the uncomfortable feeling you haveis entirely intentional on their part, right? They wont see it that way until you can communicate that. I know how you are feeling , its kind of like betrayal. My ex was diagnosed with interpersonal relationship issues and I think that plays a part in the family continuing to invite me. "acceptedAnswer": { If you can you need to tell them how you feel. Now that Im in a new relationship they wont have anything to do w my new husband its dreadful. In reality he beat my mother relentlessly and emotionally abused us kids as well. Its almost the exact same life as me. When a person finds someone they connect with, it shouldnt be taken lightly, or disposed of due to another persons unwillingness to turn the other cheek. He systematically does all the right things, 4. Hi Lilia i completely agree. So he does everything exactly the way it was but hes only replaced the woman. When you're in a relationship with someone, it's rarely just with them. Whenever the ex is in town visiting, I disappear and never go over. The years i spent joined at the hip with my little sister, the effort i made building what i thought was a strong relationship with my emotionally absent father, my stepmother who id known since i was 4 it all just crumbled. All of her family and friends have completely cut ties with me, which I expected. I have not spoke to them in 5 years. I guess since she out of curiosity did sexual favors for my ex after we separated, she thinks she is entitled to interfere. It is unreasonable what is going on. I too wondered and asked my sister and she denied ever doing so. It is just plain weird for a mother to deliberately upset her daughter by choosing to over involve herself with her daughters ex husband and new girlfriend. I feel for you. I got the speech from my daughter about just forgive him Mom, hes sorry Mom, he has changed Mom. She sits with them for family events (graduations, etc), and doesnt speak to me. The sister and her family I was closest to has chosen to continue to have him in their lives even though I finally told her some of the issues in my marriage, hoping that would change. My children wanted nothing to do with him for the first 4 years after our divorce. Ranked as the#1 Divorce Blogon the Internet since 2016! Going to dinner with him somewhere for having them over on any given night is one thing but to have him over to a family holiday gathering is way overstepping the boundaries I feel. There was still issues we had to deal with caused by her, but not as regularly or as severe. I have tried to ignore all this, since I dont want problems in my life any, yet, here I am, 3 years after, and she still makes her ex a part of her life, although she tries to hide it, she makes mistakes and I end up knowing of her cordiallity towards her ex. My divorce turned my sisters into 2 people I dont even recognize. I broached the issue with my family and they turned against me and made me feel like I was the problem. You were once a family and because you have children together and once shared a life together still makes you familly that will never change so you will have to get over it and accept thats its not about you or youre ex its about the children. I realize its a few years old, however, its a common problem when the ex remains too close to former inlaws well after divorce. My 27 yo lives with me because he has autism. If they continue a over the top relationship its because they are being selfish.. they dont want to go through a break up too. Its been stress, drama, mentally, financially, legally, caused by her. Since they chose him, I am no longer part of the family. To gloss over the loss is make light of what matters to you. Anonymous. I wanted my family back for me and for the sake of my kids because the reality is if there is no relationship with me, there will be none with my kids who know I am the only one they can depend on financially and emotionally. He would not leave, so I needed to go. I havent spoken to my mom in 4 years. Divorce is hardest for the 2 people involved, if family truly loves you, they would stop adding to the pain and help you move forward. Cut them all out of your life you dont need to be putting up with that crap xoxo. Maybe you should seek therapy and find happiness and respect for yourself! If you CAN. Did you try and talk to them? They decided I was the problem and not only remained friends with my ex, they rejected me and actively supported him through a nasty court riddled divorce. I dont think its unreasonable to want to cut ties with him at all ,Im having the dasa problem with my ex and his new girlfriend ,our daughter is 23 we dont have to see each other but he still goes out with my brother and brothers in law every Friday night ,plus annual holidays what hurts me more than anything is the betrayal from my sisters when they go out ewit them and l hardly get asked to go anywhere ,it really cuts me up inside . Until you start to put the pieces together and confronting them and they start behaving threateningly such as tampering with your car, locking you out of your home, emptying bank accounts, making threats, stalking etc etc. Just because they are your family, doesnt mean they have to agree with you. com. My ex was never liked by my family until we divorced & then he ingrained himself by constantly slandering me. Have you also noticed there is no middle ground for those who disagree with your comments? Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded . She had none of these issues. She knew of all the abuse the ex did, the hell she put him through in the divorce, she financially ruined him, put him in debt $36,000. As always you can unsubscribe at any time. My girls are older now. One of her daughters moved to Vietnam and none of that side of the family tried to reestablish contact for approx 2 years after it was lost. Unless, he was a criminal, wife/child abuser, you have no right to ask everyone else to just throw him down the toilet like a used toilet paper after knowing him for at least (probably more than) 13 years. He attends Christmas, birthdays and special events with my family. Sometimes you cant leave for many reasons. The ex family have nothing to do with me. Its mean and very hurtful. But It doesnt matter what anyone says, its always the actions that prove truth. He said its normal because of his son thats why he need to communicate.. Id love to leave a comment but afraid someone I know might find it. Good luck w ur new better happier life! It can be tough to lose a member of an ex's family as a friend, but ultimately, blood is thicker than water, and it can be critical to respect their desires as it pertains to their family. I am no psychologist but it sounds like he is a narcissist and is using your ties to your family to get back at you. Most people are not saying you shouldnt let the children see the other side of the family at all. The reality is there is an ex though and I do have mixed feelings. I feel desperate and every time I give my family opportunity to stand by me they fail to do the right thing. The ex family does not request friends with my siblings but my siblings request to be friends with my ex family. I feel completely betrayed and as if they traded me in for her. Their disloyalty has been breathtaking and I know that in some warped way they will all justify their behaviour. The familys treatment of me when i split up with my ex literally broke my heart. My mom told me later that night how she contacted (love solutiontemple .c o m) that did a spell to make my husband open up the truth and make him remorseful to come apologized. He sounds like a narcissist who has them fooled and he is gaslighting you. When I made the decision to divorce, I was prepared to give up a lot of things. Why do you expect them to like you better than someone who they know and have a relationship for longer than you? I said no Im good. Boy that felt good to get off my chest! Unfortunately the marriage just did not work. Like so many of other posts I feel great empathy for the author; and have lived through perhaps similar situations. I went and continue to go through the same struggle but on the positive side, eventually, my children understood that what my ex did was for his own interests and not theirs. It felt like such a betrayal especially after the texting thing. The ex does not even have a bedroom set up for them in his home. When i arrived, having had to walk, upset there was my husband sat cool as a cucumber drinking coffee with my Dad. People tell themselves anything to rationalize crazy behavior. I know exactly how you feel. From some of the things described, how painful your family is choosing your ex What does it mean when your ex boyfriend is seeing someone but tells you not too? 8) He puts her first. I, too, wish my in-law familys relationship with my husbands ex was less. Some exes alienate their families as a form of punishment against the person who left them. What about a BBQ or planning a family trip. It depresses me severely now that my children also participate in this process though we have great relations outside of this issueunless I bring it up. LRBTexas, One year after I have chose to be single and removed from family. I would definitely visit my sister, even if she lived a few doors from my ex. He is no longer his uncle .I am and will always be his aunt. There is no way any of us would have turned my back on her just because they were divorced. my parents knew he was abusive, they saw me leave him and turn my life around while he was in and out of jail. Go figure . So much that you willing to cut off anyone who love him. My sister made friends with him on Facebook and lots of other heartbreaking stuff. Id cry, too (and have!) I see people taking about you being abused emotionaly. So she blames me for about ten years and tells my mother that she cant be in the same room as me. My situation requires cutting ties When Will Spousal Support Be a Factor in a Divorce Case? Divorce is such a bitch for women and they get no support. He doesnt have to mow or upkeep anything. My family has fed him. They are treating him as part of the family. His birthday was 2 weeks ago, she didnt even talk to him on that day or any day after. I can perhaps give you the other side. Your ex sounds . Does divorce warrant total detachment from ex family???? Its just unfortunate and heartbreaking when your own family doesnt respect those boundaries. So sorry to hear I am not alone. I am in so much pain. Although its been hard on my own, I made the right choice to have him out of my life. My sister was married for 30 years to my now ex bro-in-law. Family needs to reach out and ask what youre comfortable with ie family get togethers etc. Work together to find some ground, or maybe just getting out in the air alone will make you feel better. Shes the one choosing to avoid her family. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Discover the 5 texting mistakes that scare men away (almost every woman makes 1 or more of them!). Of course not I told her. Your ignorance is beyond. We must not enable manipulation. This is so sad to read. I wouldnt have dreamt of muscling in on my exes family. Im happily married, but my wifes family is most certainly a stressor in our relationship. No he should not be coming to your families Thanksgiving. Do I really have to explain that to you???!!! Ive been the sole parent from day 1. I was excited until I learned that they were moving into a house five doors down from my ex-husband. Its very tough to pretend. This just shows that the person who wants their ex gone is controlling. I told my family from the start that it was bullshit because they witnessed the drama, lies, allegations etc that she caused during the divorce. Who wants to ride that emotional rollercoaster with people??? My relationship with my parents are much colder than they were, but I at least still talk with them because they only knew about my sister and didnt say anything. Therefore, if your boyfriend or partner still has some stuff from his ex laying around here and there, its a clear sign that he misses his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. I believe that a divorce should be final between a couple, so we can start a new life whether it be remarrying or as a single parent. Who needs enemies, when you have family like this? I cant say anything because its about their Dad, and I cant talk about him in reference to anything he did to me or then back then. My mothers brother was divorced when I was a kid. I absolutely agree. I just wish the families would see how bad it hurts and do the right thing. 100% it is not ok for you to be treated this poorly by your family. I sooo relate to this, thank you. Not true she medically neglected me and beat me for taking my inhaler amongst other things. I think you are confusing what the issue is. and trying to take my son away from me (not his bio son! He hurt me!!! People do not always know even if they think they do. Sporting events, kids birthdays, sure.but Thanksgiving and Christmas is taking it too far. Especially if your goal is to continue to have a relationship with them whether or not you two are able to rekindle your romance. Maybe all it takes is dinner with the two of them for you to realize that there is absolutely nothing going on, and there never could be. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. I hope things have improved? Ps. she was even mistaken for still being his girlfriend several times! polite at pick-up/drop-off is one thing. (I was single at the time.) Do you perhaps have these feelings because maybe your still in love with him? As best I tried I could no longer see them as good people, nor could I see the world as a good place. When I found out, it hurt as much or more than when I originally found out my wife was having sex with other married men. We had my ex over for holidays, birthdays etc and later him and his new family. You left the marriage you are wanting your family to choose sides he didnt ask for any of it you made those choices just because it seems like he has moved on with his life and found happiness again and you are living in the past doesnt mean he is doing anything wrong. My ex went to prison a year after we married for a long time and I stuck with him. help! She even calls her "Mom." They have been broken up for over a year, and he says they no longer communicate. and i was never invited. This one you should probably have noticed. Dont let him sleep in your head rent free. Yet his mom still chose her. Apparently his ex had family issues so she clung to his. Keep your eye on the only person you have control over you. I was shocked but not surprised when my family sided with him. It is a powerless feeling and sometimes I feel so insignificant I wonder if should just end my life. that he doesnt want a relationship with you, 3. They did not care if I was there or not. I begged them to keep trying to speak to my daughter through calls on special occasions or just because so when I go back arent made to feel like we dont care for my baby. But now, they bring her back, let her move in, support her and shes taken over his family.



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